Ahhh

I'm feeling in 2 minds about everything
on one hand i'm really looking forward to going back to uni...
i dont think i could stay in my job much longer (im not sure i'll make it through the 3 days I have left, it seems so close yet so far)
and im looking forward to getting back into education and 'bettering' myself again
one more step to where i want to be

On the other hand im completely scared...
worried I wont fit back into education, i wont work hard enough, or i've forgotten too much
i wont have any friends, and feel really lonely and wish i had never gone back to somewhere i was so happy, and end up tarring my whole time at Essex if it goes badly...
worried about getting a balance with everything, the money issue, and the jobs issue...

And overall, I was SO looking forwad to going back for so long, wishing the last 8 months away, infact, 12 months and thinking 'i'll be happier when i go back' what if im not happier?? what if i built it up too much??
i should be like my friend and just not have expectations...
oh dear... this one is a bit more of a personal blog, but i felt it needed to be said :)
xxx