Tuesday, 22 September 2009


I'm feeling in 2 minds about everything
on one hand i'm really looking forward to going back to uni...
i dont think i could stay in my job much longer (im not sure i'll make it through the 3 days I have left, it seems so close yet so far)
and im looking forward to getting back into education and 'bettering' myself again
one more step to where i want to be

On the other hand im completely scared...
worried I wont fit back into education, i wont work hard enough, or i've forgotten too much
i wont have any friends, and feel really lonely and wish i had never gone back to somewhere i was so happy, and end up tarring my whole time at Essex if it goes badly...
worried about getting a balance with everything, the money issue, and the jobs issue...

And overall, I was SO looking forwad to going back for so long, wishing the last 8 months away, infact, 12 months and thinking 'i'll be happier when i go back' what if im not happier?? what if i built it up too much??
i should be like my friend and just not have expectations...
oh dear... this one is a bit more of a personal blog, but i felt it needed to be said :)

Sunday, 13 September 2009

Hospital Trip

Well I was meant to update AGES ago, but things got a bit out of hand! Oppps...

Anyway, thought I would update with my little hospital visit. It was a bit unexpected, I just had a pain for a few days, and Mum made me go to the doctor... anyway, he thought it was serious, so i ended up in hospital that evening... but I didn't get a bed until 8pm, and i hadn't even seen a doctor and i was put on an iv and told to stay overnight.... wha??? It was a weird pain, a cross between a period pain and trapped wind, which is why i had left it so long.... and I thought, this will be embarrassing when it turns out to be nothing... and the iv hurt.... a lot...

Anyway, in the night a nurse had stolen some blood (naughty) and kept waking me up every 2 hours to take my blood pressure and temperature and god knows what else... and at 7am a doctor came round and told me i had an infection in my blood... i was surprised it was anything serious, but relieved they knew what it was... as it huuuurrt... they still weren't sure exactly what it was, so they decided to put a camera in my bellybutton to have a lookie around..

anyway.. turns out it was my appendix! woo.... the ward wasn't very nice, bit noisy and busy and wasn't good when ur in pain and i was put on an 'emergency list' so i just had to wait around until there was a gap... luckily i didn't wait too long... but the whole going into the room where they put you to sleep is scary... and it felt horrible as you could feel as the liquids enter ur arms, the thing that makes u go to sleep was REALLY cold, and the morphine BURNED as it went through my veins...

I woke up in recovery, thinking I had fallen asleep at my desk at work... and nearly threw up with the pain!! cue strong drugs. An hour later I was back in the ward, not really sure what had happened.... a doctor came round a bit later and said it was my appendix - which is supposed to be the size of a little worm and mine was like a big slug... lovely... but it was too perferated to take out by keyhole, so they had to cut me open, so I've got a nice long scar....

I was later moved to a ladies ward called Eastwood which I spent the rest of thurs, Fri and most of sat in... i didn't really like it, i could hardly move and felt bored and stranded.... plus they kept putting this big injection in my stomach that felt like burning... apparently it was to stop clotting or something....

I did have a hot Dr called Myles :) and there was a hottish Dr who walked past me when I went on a trip to the maternity ward entrance dragging my iv stand, and spotted fathers proudly phoning everyone in their phonebook... anyway, the hottish Dr said he recognised me, and asked how my appendix was... I was slightly confused as i'd never met him, but he said he'd been in the op... and i was like... erm.... shouldn't u have been looking at my appendix not my face?
and my consultant was Dr Grey... just like Greys anatomy... wooo

anyway... I was let out on Sat, on my mothers birthday, and managed to get home for the first Xfactor... lol

Sooooo, I'll end with a pic of one of my Ivs, I had about 7 in the end cos they kept tissuing because I have small veins, was SO painful, had to have a child's one in the end... and I had mega bruises on my hands for the next couple of weeks!!!

Back to work tomorrow (7th Sept 2009! wooo!) after 2 weeks off, actually looking forward to seeing other humans again!!! x

Wednesday, 24 June 2009

A place to sit and read

After a bit of an argument with the family, I walked out the house and set off looking for somewhere to sit alone and read my book (Far from the madding crowd by Hardy)
It was cold and I didn't want to go far.
I ended up in the Foyer of the cliffs theatre... I sat overlooking the Thames watching it slowly get darker while reading my book. A production of 'singing in the rain' was being preformed and heard applause every so often, and apart from the 15 minute interval when it was jam packed and buzzing I had a very peaceful2 hours and read a lot of the book... It was very relaxing and improved my mood no end. I hope to do it again soon. Although I'll have to find another book I can get lost in and enjoy as much as that one (didn't think I'd be a fan of Hardy, but once you get past all the descriptive language, the story has a lot of emotion and life in it)

Sunday, 21 June 2009

Vist Up North (Day 2)

Had fun abusing the buffet breakfast
Went for a drive and had lunch in a pub called the harrington arms in Erewash near were Dad was born - Draycott I think.
We then walked around St chads water - it used to be a gravel pit - but they filled it in and made it a Local Nature Reserve - very pretty...
some lovely pics from there
then we drove home...

Saturday, 20 June 2009

Vist Up North

Went to visit Sarah in Shepshead and we went to a pretty abbey
Then on to Loughborough to get a train to Leicester and back for my Aunt & Unlces wedding Anniversary...
the station was themed in 1970s style and renamed 'cemetery junction' for the filming of this new movie by Ricky Gervais http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1196204/
and then stayed in a hotel in Derby - I'll add more details and pretty photos soon.xxx

Sunday, 7 June 2009

The Plays of Oscar Wilde

I very much enjoyed this book. Having never really read many plays before (probably only really for school - 'An Inspector Calls' and a couple of Shakespeare (King Lear/Henry V) I was doubtful whether this would be any good, but bought it as I thought it might make my reading more varied...
I enjoyed many of these plays, as I felt a lot of them were like little mini, gossip dramas, maybe like a soap or things friends chat/gossip about... there were a couple of dull ones, especially ones he had written after going to America... but a few very enjoyable little plays...

I picked out a few quotes from a couple of the plays that I particularly liked:

*Lady Windermere's Fan
- We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars

- In this world there are two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
- (what is a cynic?) A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing

*A woman of no importance
-The one advantage of playing with fire, Lady Caroline, is that one never gets even singed. It is the people who don't know how to play with it who get burned up.
-Hearts live by being wounded. Pleasure may turn a heart to stone, riches may make it callous, but sorrow - oh, sorrow, cannot break it.

*An Ideal Husband
-It is not the perfect, but the imperfect who have need of love. It is when we are wounded by our own hands, or by the hands of others, that love should come to cure us - else what use is love at all? All sins, except a sin against itself, love should forgive. All lives, save loveless lives, true love should pardon.
- 'I'm glad you have called. I am going to give you some good advice.' 'Oh! Pray don't. One should never give a woman anything that she can't wear in the evening.'

*The Importance of Being Earnest
-The truth is rarely pure and never simple.
- All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.

These were probably my 4 favourite plays as well, and would recommend people reading a few, they are only short and don't take long to read and are quite entertaining - exactly what reading should be like!

Saturday, 30 May 2009

25th Wedding Anniversary

It was my parents 25th Wedding Anniversary this week. Wow - 25 years with the same person! Well Done them! They went off to Paris for the week (well 4 days) to celebrate - leaving me at home! woo! Me and Charlie had lots of fun, ok... actually, I'm slightly ashamed to admit it - but we spent most of the evenings watching Tv - Britain's Got Talent, Mon, Tue, Thurs & Fri, with The Apprentice on Wednesday - I lead a sad life!
Was off work ill on the Thursday, but by late afternoon was feeling better, so I deep cleaned half the kitchen (I wasn't feeling THAT much better) for my parents return, and made them a card by hand...
Please note the silver sequins to represent the silver wedding anniversary... I did have lots of issue with glue - but I think I just about saved it!
My parents also bought each other a card, my Mum bought hers in one of the local shops, while Dad purchased his in Central London; these are the cards they swapped:

Think it's kinda sweet they got each other the same card... I like coincidences like that :)

Saturday, 16 May 2009

Makaton Course

Today, Saturday 16th May, I went on another course, this time a free two hour session to learn Makaton. Makaton is slightly similar to British Sign Language in that some of the signs are the same, however Makaton is for a completely different set of people.

Makaton was first developed in the UK in the 1970’s by a speech and language therapist and was devised as a way of increasing the ability to communicate in those who live with learning difficulties, such as those living with Autism and those with cognitive impairment. Makaton is a much simpler form of communication and uses common vocabulary that is used in everyday speech. It also incorporates the use of picture cards and ties in facial expressions with the word to produce more content in the shortest form.

Unlike British Sign Language, Makaton uses speech as well as actions and symbols. This encourages children to learn many different forms of communication which has shown good results in academic and social achievement by those who use it. It has even been proven to increase literacy and numeracy skills and encourages development of visual, recognition and identification skills. As babies develop, they often use signs and gestures to communicate what they want, such as a drink, and most parents also use this method without realising it. For example, many parents and carers symbolise a drink using a hand to mouth action, or a spoon to mouth action when encouraging children to eat for themselves. Makaton is merely an extension of this, with specific actions, signs and symbols for each activity.

I learnt quite a few everyday words and signs, and very much enjoyed learning this new way of communicating. The key to this technique is to TALK while signing... A lot of people were just signing like you do for BSL as deaf people can't hear the words. However, with Makaton it isn't about the signing, its about being able to communicate effectivly, the signing and symbols add to the meaning of the spoken words, to help the person with difficulties learn the meanings of the words. It is like a child learning to read. Childrens books have lots of pictures, and this helps give clues to what the story is about and what words might be being used. For a child with language difficulties, the signs are visual clues to what the words are, and will hopefully help them to eventually develop and learn to recognise the oral words alone.

A very enjoyable two hours, and something I might like to progress with in the future. A well spent saturday morning :)

For more information on Makaton: http://www.makaton.org/about/about.htm

Friday, 24 April 2009

Look-a-Likes 2 Morgan/Bardem

I watched a film called 'No Country For Old Men' the couple weeks ago- bit of a weird film - but made me think and stuck with me for a bit. However, something which struck me the whole way through, and continued to bug me until I goggled it - was how much the main character reminded me of a character from the series 'Greys Anatomy'

So - Jeffrey Dean Morgan from Greys anatomy:
And Javier Bardem from No country For Old Men:


Monday, 13 April 2009

Game Reviews (DS)

Over the Easter period, I played quite a few DS games during my time off (a break from my reading has been nice!) So I shall give a quick review of each one - exciting!!
Theres 8 different games, and I have marked them out of 10, and ordered them below from best to worst :)

Professor Layton and the Curious Village - 10/10
The Curious Village is a puzzle game. You control Professor Layton around the village of St. Mystere to locate the "Golden Apple" and solving other little mysteries during their searching. There are Brain teasers, logic puzzles, sliding puzzles and lots more - many asking you to think outside the box or to think more carefully before rushing into an answer. Many of these questions I have encountered before, such as the farmer trying to get across the river and trying to measure a certain amount of liquid with other containers... I enjoyed the game a lot, probably the best I have played on the DS (along with Hotel Dusk:

ThemePark DS - 8/10
Oh... what a classic! Exactly like the old bullfrog PC game I had back in the day.. but on DS - love it!! Although i do get bored of these quite quickly.... I did hope they might bring theme hospital out also, but in an interview asking 'If Theme Park is a success on DS, do you plan to bring Theme Hospital or Populous to DS?' Nagahara (the game designer says) 'We had a wonderful time developing Theme Park for DS... (blah blah blah lots more stuff about how great it was) but we have nothing to discuss at the moment regarding future development plans.' Bummer. :(

Mechanic Master - 7/10
Mechanic Master uses the stylus as a weapon to rid the Earth of alien invaders that have scattered across the planet. You have to create crazy contraptions to free humans, and creative-thinking is key to clearing each level. I enjoyed this game, but it got a bit boring after a while, as each level is very similar, just getting harder, with more complex contraction reactions you havr to set up..

Professor Heinz Wolff's Gravity - 6/10
Basically... there are different problems, where you have to get a ball to touch a button... and the only thing that is certain... is gravity... there is lots of physics and stuff involved....I haven't played this a huge amount, but it has been okay. Similar to the Mechanical Master... I got a bit bored quite quickly as you have to be delicate when picking up the objects, as the slightest touch they move and knock over each other, and you have to think very carefully when trying to solve each one.. i lost patience!! A Good, and well thought out game!

Mystery Case File: Millionheir: 6/10
Sounds more exciting than it is... although it is looking for some dead millionaire, and who killed him... all it is is a big searching game. You have a list of 5-25 items and a time limit to find a certain amount of them in a room or series of locations... this is the whole game... sometimes visiting the same room looking for different items... I enjoyed it, as sometimes it was nice to not have to think and just look for silly objects in a random scene... but I wouldn't play this again now I have completed it...

Rubik's Puzzle World - 3/10
an abstract environment Rubik's Cubes, with a collection of games that challenge intellect while incorporating the mental twists and turns that made the original Rubik's cube.... Some of the games were quite fun and challenging.. all involving Rubik type cubes and colours... but it seemed a bit pointless, when you had done a level, it just turned a different colour... there wasn't the opition of different profiles so i didn't know what I had done or what my mum had completed, and there were no times or scores, or any extra bits to open... I just didn't really get a sense of progress or feeling of achievement with the game, so i stopped quite soon after starting!

Myst - 1/10
Apparently: 'Alone on a mysterious island, you set out to explore its grandeur and mystery. Here a chilling tale of intrigue and injustice, defying all boundaries of space and time, is being told. Quickly, though, it becomes clear every action can somehow help unfortunate individuals trapped somewhere in a parallel dimension.'
However, this was a complete disaster on the DS. I can see this working really well on the PC (We even have the PC version - I just never got round to playing it) It was awkward, trying to walk around and get a proper view was dreadful, everything was always so dark, and the screen was too small, everything you tried to read was too small even with some magnified glass tool and you couldn't spot things which would lead the story on. I ended up printing a walk through... and realised half the stuff I had done without realising it (I had walked into a secret room from throne room, and didn't know where I was or how I got there due to the awful stylus tapping way of getting around) In the end the walk through just wasn't fun and was meaningless, so I gave up and traded this game in! I did waste a total of about 3-4 hours trying to get into it though!!

The Legend of Zelda:Phantom Hourglass Hints III - 1/10
Tried to play this game, I really did... but the first thing you have to do it fight 3 Orcs... and then later 2 more and then 2 more... you get 'experience' and promoted or what not, i even found a spell and some protection thing... but I had to make a move, then the enemy made a move, and no matter how i tried to kill them, each time I would lose a few health points, and after about 15 minutes, I died due to having no health. There was no explanation of how to get health, or even really how to play the game... and since there was fighting from the beginning with no real explanation or aim of the game, I gave up and this has also been traded in!

Thursday, 9 April 2009


I realise I never came back and finished my last entry, and I do apologise! I ended up visiting my friends, and having a most wonderful weekend, and then as the week progressed I had 'issues' with my sister and 1 laptop charger shared between us.... Lets just say, after a long few days of tempers hotting up, the final showdown wasn't pretty. I should affirm our arguments have progressed from when we were younger brawling siblings, as no violence was used, name calling was kept to a minimum, and it did not end in tears... however, long, accusing words were exchanged, and I'm sure the neighbours can't have appreciated the noise!

I have been up to lots of little exciting things, and shall probably follow this with various reviews of films and games I have watched and played this past week :)

Love Love

Sunday, 29 March 2009


I wish Tea didn't go cold so quickly...

I decided to add this photo to reiterate my love for tea... even though I look rough!

Tuesday, 24 March 2009

My top 16 Mark Twain Quotes

Ok, So I'm not normally known as a geek (I don't think??!) But secretly I am... in a lot of ways, which you will probably come to find out!! Today's Geeky-ness is how I like to read quotes from famous people... I think they are cool, and interesting and a lot of the time thought-provoking... so here goes, some (well quite a few) quotes from Mark Twain, my chosen person for today - enjoy :)

My Top 16 Mark Twain Quotes:

1. A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain

2. Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first

3. Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable

4. Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.

5. I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't

6. If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything

7. It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt

8. It is easier to stay out than get out

9. Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great

10. The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up

11. The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them

12. Time cools, time clarifies; no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours

13. When you cannot get a compliment any other way pay yourself one

14. Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform

15. A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes

16. Man is the Only Animal that Blushes. Or needs to

Thursday, 19 March 2009

Have you ever been in love?

A quote from Neil Gaiman:

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."

Monday, 16 March 2009


I was watching 'Horne and Cordon' and thought that when Matt Horne is dressed up a bit as the gay reporter, he rather looks like Chris Lilley from 'Summer Heights High.' Just a little observation :) Heres the 2 pics:

Tuesday, 3 March 2009

My Cardigan

Cardi I knitted.

With Rasberry wool - It was a sublime pattern, called Garbo

This is the original picture on the pattern: